Michael Jackson to Hold Little Boy's Balls

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

SANTA MARIA, California (NAMBLA) -- In order to pay for mounting debt due to his recent trial, Michael Jackson announced today that he will hold a series of dances for and with young boys.

"It's no secret that Michael has financial woes," said Jackson's attorney Thomas Mesereau outside the Santa Maria court house where Jackson was acquitted today on child molestation charges. "Hell, he owes me $15 million dollars alone! That's why Michael is happy to announce that he will be holding a series of Little Boy's Balls over the course of the next few months. These gala events will be open to young men under 15 years of age. Parents can purchase tickets for their children to attend starting at $10,000.00"

Jackson, former pop star famous for such songs as "Beat it!", "Bad", "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" and "Smooth Criminal" appeared clutching his beloved child pornography collection and spoke through his attorney for the first time since his latest trial.

The rights to the "Michael Jackson's Little Boy's Balls: Behind the Scenes" have been secured by the British Broadcasting Corporation and the documentary will be broadcast both on BBC television and in Jackson's next child molestation trial ... presumably.